Four years in the making

I'm going to South America.  For years, anyone who has known me has heard me talk about this epic backpacking trip I was going to go on.  For years, it was all talk.

When I was 22, I went to visit my brother at the University of Colorado at Boulder for the first time.  At the time, I was a few months out of college, and had moved to Alexandria, Virginia.  Being in Colorado for the first time really opened my eyes. The amazing scenery combined with the laid back attitude of the city set something off in my brain.  On my way back from Colorado, I bought a journal in the airport and I started writing.

The first sentence of my first journal entry on September 21, 2008 began with this sentence: "So confused. What do I want to do with my life?"

"I want to travel," was the first thing I wrote under that question.  "But I don't know how to travel like I want to," I continued.  "Am I really a person who can travel the way I want to?  Or do I just want to be that person?"

I like to call the year I was 22 the year of my quarter life crisis.  When I got back from Colorado, I continued  to write.  I wrote about the experiences I wanted to have, and the places I wanted to see and the people I wanted to meet.  I didn't actually know what or where or who any of them were.

A common response I keep hearing from people when I tell them about my trip is that they know I've been "searching" for something.  My Dad said it.  My boss said it.  My friends have said it.  I guess, ultimately, that's true.

In my journals, I collect cards with quotes and sayings that inspire me.  Each journal I've kept has had it's own theme, but a recurring theme is always the desire to travel.

"All who wander are not lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien 

"I'm in love with cities I've never been to and people I've never met." - Unknown

These are two of my favorite quotes from my South America planning journal.  While I may be searching for something, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.  At 25, I see a lot of people around me who aren't happy.  People who, already, at three years into the working world, think they're too deep in a career they hate to change it and find something they love.  People who are dating the wrong people either because they think it's what they're supposed to do or because they're complacent - not head over heels in love - but happy enough.  

So while I may not know exactly what it is I'm searching for, what I do know is that nothing in my life has ever inspired me the way that travel has.  Four years ago I started that journal on the way home from Colorado.  Four years ago I started telling anyone who would listen that I was going to go backpacking.  Four years ago I started saving money to make it happen.  Four years ago I made a promise to myself.

A few weeks ago I asked my landlord if it would be okay to sublet my apartment.  Last week I told my parents about my trip (a decision they are NOT happy about).  Today, I had a conversation with my boss and gave him notice of my leave.  In one month, I will make my dream come true.  

I can't guarantee anything about this trip.  To be honest, I am having a hard time even imagining what it will be like.  But what I can say with 100% certainty is that I'm making myself proud.  I think there are a lot of people who don't follow their heart and allow their dreams to remain just that.   While there are a lot of uncertainties that await me over the next many months, one thing I know for sure is that I will never look back at my life and regret following my heart and following through on a promise I made to myself.